She walks in beauty like the night..

Sorry, so sorry I have been out for a while. Things have been busy, I’ve been sick as a dog, tired as heck, and have been busy when at home. No time to write in here, I’m afraid. Not that it’s causing a problem for my 0 readers.

So I can’t lie, I have a hold on juicing. I am entirely too poor and don’t know how I thought I could do it before my lease was up. It’s up at the end of this month but I am paying my last payment this week. So soon, I shall have the patience, the money, and the strength to get back on track. Once the move is complete I should be back in the swing of all things juice.

I’m sorry for the false beginning, I’ve not totally ruined lent, but it is a work in progress. I will end up juicing from March 16-April 6. So that will be fun. Hopefully. May go even longer substituting 1 juice for lunch and salads for dinner with a normal breakfast after that. I will be full of juice. The only problem with juicing for ME is that I never feel full and if I do, it’s a liquid full, not a full-full that satisfies. I need to figure that out…what to do… maybe nibble on whole fruit and veggies as well during my juice drinking?

So I am using this current check for my last rent check. The 16th I get paid again and will buy carpet and then I can move in to my dad’s basement. I have to get some dressers for the room and a small computer desk as well. I am pretty excited to not have to pay too much in rent anymore. I have felt so poor since I started paying for the two bedroom by myself in September…ugh. And my brothers phone bill with mine.

I have travel news! I will be going to New Orleans with my close friend Linda at the end of April ! I am soooo excited. I go from upset that it’s a month and a half away, to small bursts of joy and almost crying from wanting to pack and leave already. I am SOOO happy. I loove love loveee NOLA, it’s so beautiful and the people are amazing. And since I’ve been there already I know my way around and should be just fine without my dear mother. I am excited to do the plantation tours and creole history bike tour. The weather should be really nice and we will have a blast. Hoping my friend will let me borrow her camera for pictures while I am there. She just got a really professional camera that takes amazing pictures. I need it for the architecture and bands… I can’t wait to get my drink on and to dance with mr. Kris and his biceps. Now that I have said that, I must go dream about licking his abs on my lunch break.

xo morgan

I haven’t juiced yet today, woke up a little late for my make up day at work…even though no one is here. I’ve gotten a lot of things done, small projects for the boss, addigned some fall protection self retracting lanyards and harnesses, etc. Now I am all caught up and ready to give y’all a devotional!

What Can We Say For Ourselves

Ezra 9:10-15

“And now, our God after all this what can we say for ourselves? For we have thrown your commands to the wind, the commands you gave us through your servants the prophets. They told us, ‘The land you’re taking over is a polluted land, polluted with the obscene vulgarities of the people who live there; they’ve filled it with their moral rot from one end to the other. Whatever you do, don’t give your daughters in marriage to their sons nor marry your sons to their daughters. Don’t cultivate their good opinion; don’t make over them and get them to like you so you can make a lot of money and build up a tidy estate to hand down to your children.’
    “And now this, on top of all we’ve already suffered because of our evil ways and accumulated guilt, even though you, dear God, punished us far less than we deserved and even went ahead and gave us this present escape. Yet here we are, at it again, breaking your commandments by intermarrying with the people who practive all these obscenities! Are you angry to the point of wiping us out completely, without even a few stragglers, with no way out at all? You are the righteous God of Israel. We are, right now, a small band of escapees. Look at us, openly standing here, guilty before you. No one can last long like this.”

READ
Read this prayer, spoken by Ezra on behalf of all the exiled Israelites.

THINK
Think about how you relate to this prayer. Have you ever felt similar remorse to what Ezra expresses here? Maybe you feel frustration with the injustices of your community or nation, or maybe you experience guilt on a deep level - not for anything in particular, but just a general sense of not getting it right, ever. What have you done with that feeling? Stuffed it? Allowed it to constantly criticize what you do and say? Have you ever thought of sharing it with God?

PRAY
Ezra’s raw confession of messing up before God indicates that he feels very secure in God’s merciful love; otherwise, being this defenseless before anyone is hard.
    Read Ezra’s prayer again, looking for a word, a phrase, or even something about his tone that resonates with you. Take several minutes to mull this over, and listen for what it gives voice to in your heart. Allow yourself to make Ezra’s prayer your own, repeating it and following him in prayer to God. Or perhaps you don’t identify with what he says, yet beyond your words is a pain you want to share with God. Sit with him in this.

LIVE
When you mess up today, remember Ezra, and remember God’s merciful love.

God Encounters (these are every 7th day)
On this seventh day, review and reflect on all you have read this week. Take the time to revel in ways you’ve encountered God in the past six days.

I will go home and juice 4 apples and a few carrots with celery for dinner. I had a small bag of Sour Cream and Onion Lays chips from a friends office (I didn’t bring anything to work and i was starving, sorry).

Might make a small spinach, cheese, and celery quesadilla for dinner with tortillas.

Going to spend the evening watching a movie with my mum and then drinking with my best friend, possibly our men friends as well. Hopefully we can drag them over.

Have a safe, great, blessed weekend.

xo

No devotional for today. I left my devotional book at work yesterday and didn’t make it in to work today…therefore, you will have to wait until tomorrow for that update.

I haven’t juiced  today, I had a large spinach salad with cucumbers and celery. I will juice some apples before bed and drink that. My brother should be paying me tomorrow for rent which will be helpful in my current situation.

Love and Other Drugs is a pretty good movie; quite sad, though. Stupid love movies! Jake is a fine motherfucker! Sorry, but he is just so damn beautiful. I’m glad he’s friends with my other husband, Ryan Gosling. They need to get along to be with me ;)

Had a good day, I cleaned a LOT. Cut my dog, jellybean’s nappy fro, went to the bank (but not before they could charge me a hefty fee - the bastards), made lunch, did the dishes, cleaned the bathroom, took out the trash, vacuumed the whole house, dusted, etc. Then I went to the store with my best friend and we had a nice talk about assholes…i mean men! HA.

XO

It’s still only day two? What the heck?

Okay so work went well, a little slow, but you know.. it’s surpassed and now I’m relaxing.

I had a large spinach, celery, and cucumber salad with a few tortillas for dinner. I am running low on fruit and veggies so I saved the juice for tomorrow. My brother should be paying me, so I will be able to go out and re-stock the fridge!

Today’s been pretty aggravating in all, trying to get some relax time in tonight. Watched two Black History Month specials on demand, was pretty curious what they had on there. I watched the Biography channels biographies of Denzel Washington (he’s so damn handsome) and Barack Obama.. I pretty much knew everything about Barack Obama that they had in there, during my research, but it was still pretty inspiring where he came from. I didn’t, in fact, know that he lived in Indonesia for a while before returning to Hawaii to live with his grandparents.

So I weighed in to see where I am, around Sunday I think I was 138. I was at 136 today but that’s probably just normal bouncing around for me. I think it will be easier to tell if the detox works by weighing in next Friday.

Have a good night. Devotional was earlier, by the way!

xo

Okay so I typed out an entire post and deleted it. IM FUCKING PISSED!!!

Good fucking morning, fml. I hate you all. So here goes:

I woke up and rushed through apple, carrot, and strawberry juicing for breakfast, which I am now done with (but wasn’t in the FIRST post). It was tasty. For lunch, I brought apple and carrot. I know I haven’t really tried different variations but that is because I am tres poor and pay for a two bedroom apartment, two phone bills, car insurance that won’t ever go down, two rather obnoxious hospital bills, a large and infuriated school bill, and and have a truck that drinks gasoline like I eat Reese puffs cereal. A LOT. Too much for me, so I don’t really buy many groceries, sadly. So bear with me until I move and can afford such luxuries as that of pears and peaches. I will add some kale and spinach as well.

Since I just wasted 45 minutes on an entry I deleted, I will jump right in:

OPEN ARMS

2 Chronicles 30:1,5-9

Then Hezekiah invited all of Israel and Judah, with personal letters to Ephriam and Manasseh, to come to the Temple of God in Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover to Israel’s God…. And they sent out the invitation from one end of the country to the other, from Beersheba in the south to Dan in the north: “Come and celebrate the Passover to Israel’s God in Jerusalem.” No one living had ever celebrated it properly.
   The king gave orders, and the couriers delivered the invitations from the king and his leaders throughout Israel and Judah. The invitation read: “O Israelites! Come back to God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, o that he can return to you who have survived the predations of the kings of Assyria.  Don’t repeat the sins of your ancestors who turned their backs on God, the God of their ancestors who then brought them to ruin - you can see the ruins all around you. Don’t be pigheaded as your ancestors were. Clasp God’s outstretched hand. Come to his Temple of holy worship, consecrated for all time. Serve God, yourGod. You’ll no longer be in danger of his hot anger. If you come back to God, your captive relatives and children will be treated compassionately and allowed to come home. Your God is gracious and kind and won’t snub you - come back and he’ll welcome you with open arms.”

READ
Read the passage several times (also read first sentence below before reading).

THINK
As you read, listen for a new perspective on the way life is, or the way God is, that stands out to you today. Perhaps you will notice that God can have dangerously “hot anger,” yet under other circumstances he is tender and open to a people who have walked far from intimacy with him. Maybe you’ll be struck by the pigheadedness that kept some Israelites from taking “God’s outstretched hand.”

PRAY
Study the perspective you’ve absorbed, looking at it from different angles and holding it up against different experiences you’ve had. Do you ever fear approaching God because you worry he might snub you? Have you ever refused grace? Consider a specific situation. Then become aware of God’s presence with you. Tell him what was going on during that time. How does the God of this passage (offering his “outstretched hand” to the Israelites) compare to your image of God in that situation?

LIVE
Close your time today by saying the Lord’s Prayer. Speak the words aloud and very slowly. Picture the righteous but compassionate God described in this passage, the One who is hearing your prayer now: “Our Father in heaven, reveal who you are. Set the world right; do what’s best - as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil. You’re in charge! You can do anything you want! You’re ablaze in beauty! Yes. Yes. Yes” (Matthew 6:9-13).

Okay, so that didn’t take too long to re-type but I should start copying and saving some of this stuff…

I just want to say that I have been pretty happy and alive lately. I always notice a change in myself every month or two and I am always happy to know that I grow from my experiences. I feel very in tune with myself and how I think and see things. It’s too bad that some people still tend to judge me and push me because they think that I should be different..like them, somehow. For instance, I am not in a relationship because I don’t want to get married now, it’s just not something that interests me or something I am dying to do at this stage in my life. Some people think it’s very appropriate at our age, but really, why go out searching and trying to find something that I don’t need right now? I’d much rather wait until it’s something I want so that I don’t settle for some douche bag that doesn’t honestly know what he wants let alone what I want. I wish people would leave me to my vices and let me do what I want to do right now, instead of trying to push their ideals into me. Especially when, in fact, those that are PUSHING seem to have the most problems in their lives with what they are pushing at me. Does it make sense, anyone, that a person pushes finding a husband to their friend while their OWN relationship is shitty and faulty as hell? Don’t push it at me if your own world is crumbling. It’s like they want to hide behind their wall that’s falling down to hide the fact that it is. Grow up, FOCUS on yourselves. Don’t worry so much about others and focus on working through your own difficulties. I can worry about myself. In fact, I don’t even think I have too many emotional worries in my own life. Yeah it sucks that my friends have passed away, yes it sucks to sleep alone sometimes, but really, that’s NOTHING compared to real-world problems. I don’t make it a big deal in my life because to me, shit like that is too small to worry about. I would rather focus on if something terrible DID happen to me. Pretty much, I just want my friends to focus on themselves. They seem to need the help more than I do emotionally and in their relationships anyways.

Vent complete.

For dinner I plan to have a spinach salad with diced cucumbers, carrots, and celery with a vinaigrette dressing and a small glass of juice.

I will add my weight tomorrow or Saturday. I tend to lose weight slowly if not sick, so I will probably have gained weight. I was 132 at the doctors two weeks ago from not eating while sick and now am probably 135 ish again. I don’t think any weight change will be noticeable until next week. But like I said, this is more of a spiritual journey than losing weight. Detox alone will be my main concern as well. I will eat one square solid meal each day - hopefully. Consisting of salad, lettuce wraps, or tortilla wraps with cheese and lettuce. Small, not too bad for me during the detox. Hoping to keep it all veggies though!

Rock on, motherfuckers!

PS- I would like to add that work is very slow and quiet today without Mr. fortin talking constantly down the hall. Quite eerie…it’s been months since it’s been so quiet.

PPS- Let me know if you have any questions or comments. <3

xo 

(Source: goodreads.com)

So far, I have had the two juices that I made (one for breakfast and one for lunch), except I don’t think I made enough because I drank both for Breakfast.

Since I had a work meeting, lunch was provided. A woman that gets the lunches typically forces us to eat, so I had half of a ham sandwich with a salad that had onions. That will be my “food” item for the day. As I will be juicing two meals of each day.

When I get home I will have to juice a dinner, I am thinking of making 1/2 cucumber, 5 apples, 1 handful of Spinach, and 3 Carrots.

How about I address my “real food” rules. Since I work at a company that has a lot of group meetings, we get a lot of catering or have to do work lunches. It is pretty much impossible for me, unless I hide from them, to juice during those meals. So I will be juicing and using the meal plan that I have set up and juicing the three meals each day - UNLESS - i have one of those work lunches. Which screwed up my day. I am hoping to do juicing for at least 2 weeks before adding regular foods back. I will let you all know if there are any work lunches or “cheating” going on. Figures I wouldn’t make it an entire day. Stupid meeting!!

I’m feeling very full for the most part. That lunch was pretty filling and I have been sipping on my juices all day. Also, at the lunch meeting I had half of a ham sandwich with lettuce with no condiments. I also had a large salad with feta cheese and onions with a vinaigrette dressing. The sandwich was pretty healthy and from Panera so I don’t think i did too badly today.

I will update later after dinner.

Also, I had a friend over yesterday and we made a bunch of juicing concoctions to try out different flavors. We had a good time and got some healthy juices in us.
Will update more later. Have a great day :)